Hollywood Bowl, California –Recently at one of his concerts, backstage in a bathroom stall, Justin Bieber hosted a romantic candlelight dinner for the future mother of his child. That, according to pleadings filed with the court in a paternity suit against the teen heartthrob today.
“I wouldn’t say it was crowded,” stated the still infatuated and now impregnated 20-year-old Bieber fan in her affidavit. “I’d prefer to recall it as cozy.”
Justin spared no expense either, as he apparently lined the interior of the bathroom stall with vintage Walt Disney “Lady and the Tramp” movie posters.
“I heard they cost tens of dollars on eBay,” said the young lady.
As the two settled into the bathroom stall, sitting on the floor opposite from each other, across from the toilet bowl and with a single lit candle placed atop a tablecloth draped over it, Justin shared a deep personal secret.
“You know,” said Justin. “When I was a kid growing up, I wanted to be to one of two things.”
“Really, what?” asked the young lady.
“One was an international pop star with an incredible amount of wealth, fame and power at his fingertips,” said Justin. “And I’ve done that, as you can see.”
“Yeah,” agreed the young lady, giggling. “And the other?”
Justin paused a moment, tuning his head to the side revealing that perfect cartoon caricature profile of his.
“And the other?” gently repeated the young lady.
“And the other,” said Justin, as he leaned over the toilet bowl to whisper into the young lady’s ear. “The other…is a father.”
The young lady sighed and softly bit on her lower lip.
“You had me at pop star,” said the young lady.
“I know,” said Justin as he reached into his back pocket pulling out a Japanese headband, which he quickly placed over his forehead.
“What are you doing?” asked the young lady.
“I promised you a dinner, didn’t I?” replied Justin, pulling out a small tray with cold rice, vinegar and seaweed meticulously arranged in a decorative manner.
“Yeah, but here? “Now? How?” the young lady questioned excitedly.
“Sure, why not?” Justin said. “I got a couple of minutes before my second encore.”
Justin then removed the candle and tablecloth covering the toilet bowl lid. Lifting it up, he exposed the interior of the bowl and fish swimming inside.
Reaching into the toilet bowl barehanded, Justin pulled out a fish.
“It was still wiggling in his hand,” said the young lady.
Pulling out a Ginsu kitchen knife, Justin lobbed off its head.
After dinner and just before Justin returned to the stage, the two kissed and exchanged parting words.
“OMG,” said the young lady. “That was the best sushi I ever tasted.”
“Yeah, me too,” said Justin. “Me too.”
Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
