Hollywood, California --Shortly after receiving the news of the cancellation of their reality TV show Kate Plus 8 on TLC, the Gosselin family got a phone call. “It was Jeff Probst, the host of Survivor," said Kate Gosselin, wiping away a tear of joy.
Probst was in the midst of making an offer to Kate and her brood when he was cut off with an immediate acceptance, without question.
“He said something like, ‘I wonder if you and your kids would be interested --‘. That’s when I cut him off and said, ‘Yes!” Kate said, while packing her and her childrens' suitcases.
“Where are we going, mommy?” asked one of the Gosselin children, tugging at his mother’s hand.
“To another reality TV show, honey,” replied Kate.
Arms crossed and crimped brow, the child stomped out of the room.
According to the producers of the Survivor show, Kate and her children will be flown to a remote island somewhere in the South Pacific.
“There, they’ll tough it out,” said an assistant producer. “Forced to construct their own shelter out raw materials and LEGO blocks.”
In between breaks from homeschooling, the Gosselin kids will be mandated to participate in number trials, scouring for natural resources such as food and water.
“As well as luxury items such as malaria vaccinations and hugs from mommy,” said another producer.
As with other Survivor episodes, each week a tribal council meeting will be held in which ultimately a winner is chosen through a process of elimination.
“Viewers at home will enjoy hours of quality entertainment as they watch the Gosselin tribe take turns, turning against each other, tearing each other apart,” wrote a TV critic. “Just like Thanksgiving time with the folks.”
Kate will be granted immunity.
“It would be cruel having the kids choose between their mother and their fellow siblings,” said the assistant producer. “That’s why mom will only be allowed to cast the deciding vote in the event of a tie.”
In addition to having the bragging rights of being designated “Mommy’s Favorite”, the winner will also receive a lifetime supply of microwaveable macaroni and cheese dinners.
“And should they require it [and they probably will],” added a producer. “One year of free psychiatric care courtesy of the Dr. Phil Show.”
Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.
