Seattle, Washington --Just monuments away from having a giant novelty sized pink box filled with doughnuts (donuts) certified by officials from the Guinness Book of Records as the largest in the world ever, police suddenly raided the event, “confiscating” the evidence.
“We had to shut it down,” said a policeman, while eating a chocolate éclair. “It was an unlawful assembly.”
According to police, sponsors of the event failed to secure the proper permits from the Parks and Recreation Department.
With use of less than lethal force, police dispersed the unruly throng. Which consisted mostly of families and children from a nearby orphanage for the hearing impaired.
Before moving on the crowd, however, police were careful to cover the giant box of doughnuts with a plastic tarp first.
“Yum! I mean, um,” said police. “We had to preserve the evidence?”
Police then proceeded to breakup the carnival like atmosphere with tear gas canisters, rubber bullets and taser guns.
However, not before giving a three-minute warning, using a bullhorn.
“Approximately half the mob failed to comply, so we moved in,” said police dressed in full riot gear.
As police cleared the park, knocking over picnic tables, face painting booths and busting open pińatas with their nightsticks, a thick cloud of tear gas drifted across the street over to a church parking lot.
There, parishioners were selling coffee for a charity event benefiting the homeless veterans of foreign wars.
“Looks like another unlawful assembly to me boys!” said the watch commander as he signaled his men to reform their line. “I just hope for their sake that they've got decaffeinated.”
Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved
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